It's Time to E X E R C I S E

I wake up every morning saying to myself, "today is going to be the day that I restart my exercise routine."  And then I get up and I don't do it.  I don't know why.  I do my meditation.  I settle into blogging each morning, but, I just can't bring myself to do anything - not even chair yoga!  

Well, I'm not being entirely fair to myself.  I do walk a couple of miles, 2 or 3 times a week.  My walks consist of bundling up (it's still cold up here on Mount Wismer) and walking from the house out to route 447 and back.  Roundtrip, that's a two mile walk.

I'm looking at my dumbbells.  They used to be my best friends.  Okay, this morning I'm going to do it.  I'm going to pick up those dumbbells and I'm going to do two sets of ten repetitions.  There, I've said it!  Also, I'm going to look up chair yoga on Youtube and I'm going to do it for at least ten minutes.  Then, I'm going to lay out on the floor and do at least ten sit-ups.  After that I'll do some stretches and then I'll think about going for a run.  I used to love to run!  I'll end my stretches with a look for my running shoes and then I'll get going.  What have I been waiting for?  This is going to be the best thing for me, ever.  I can't believe I haven't just come up with a plan like this and run with it.

But, wait...  The dumbbells need to be dusted.  I don't have time for that.  I have so much work to do today.  Frankly, my shoulder still hurts when I lay on it at night, so, I don't think the torn rotator cuff has completely healed.  Nah, I'm going to pass on the dumbbells.  As for yoga on Youtube, have you watched Youtube lately?  It's like you have to wade through 10,000 commercials for every 5 minutes of actual content.  Forget it.  I'm not doing it.  Stretches?  The last time I did a stretch I ended up in the emergency room at Northwell Hospital in Manhasset.  Well, that's an exaggeration as I'd actually strained my back while getting out of bed.  I have this tendency to fling myself out of bed by whipping the sheets aside and, like, kicking my legs up and down onto the floor.  What's with that?  

Strained back muscles?  Northwell Hospital in Manhasset?  Hell no!  The last time I went there at 3 AM on a Thursday morning for some pain medicine I sat and listened in mortified silence behind a curtain while the medical staff who were only about twenty feet away from me sniggered and talked about the last patient they saw, the size of her breasts, what it would be like to wear her bra size and how it would feel to carry that much weight in the chest.  Who the f$%k talks about their patients like that?  Nope, I'm not going to do anything that could lead to a back muscle strain.  In fact, I am proud to tell you that I no longer fling myself out of bed.  Nope, I roll out of bed.  It sort of reminds me of that time when I watched someone demonstrate a tuck and roll procedure for extinguishing an imaginary flame that has engulfed their body in the kitchen.

The kitchen.

Oh, yes, I was thinking about exercising.  Well, why can't that be just the exercise I get when I go downstairs to the kitchen to make myself a cup of coffee?  Yes, that sounds lovely right now.  I should go right down and make myself a cup of coffee.  And then I'll make myself a nice and healthy delicious stack of pancakes!  Yes, yes, YES, Y E S !!!  And I will make those delicious pancakes using my mothers special pancake recipe.  She uses a dozen eggs and a cup of flour for her pancakes.  She's so proud of this recipe she won't share it with anyone.  And besides, the amount of eggs that go into this recipe make it totally health conscious.  The health benefits of the eggs outweighs the unhealthiness of the butter and syrup, right?  Of course!

So, why was I talking about exercising?  Yes, I remember now, it was really just about exercising my legs to walk downstairs for that cup of coffee.

What the hell am I saying?

I'm picking up the dumbbells.

Right now.

Comments

  1. Do it! A good exercise routine is such a powerful habit to build! I know sometimes it's so hard to start, but once you exercise you will feel so accomplished. You should check out Mel Robbin's The Five Second Rule. Listen to it while you workout for some extra motivation! Here's a link to the audiobook: https://www.audible.com/pd/The-5-Second-Rule-Audiobook/B06VX22V89?source_code=AUDFPWS0223189MWT-BK-ACX0-080693&ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_080693_rh_us

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  2. Oh, I could clearly follow your inner dialogue! Here's what helped me initially- just ten minutes. Ten minutes of yoga, or cardio or weights, anything. Over time, I added on another ten minutes, but the routines always stayed short so I knew it would be over quickly, I could move into the next ten minute chunk and could feel accomplished! =)

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  3. It's fun to read your list of goals and excuses; you've presented them in a playful way. I happen to love to exercise, so it's interesting to see the matter from an entirely different perspective. (I have other things I procrastinate, so I get it!)

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  4. It's funny how our perspective on activities can change over time. I have to resist the temptation to offer advice you clearly never requested. I enjoyed reading your back and forth with yourself. It sounds quite familiar. I hope you find a rhythm that feels good to you.

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  5. Ah, those dumbbells! The inner monologue that's captured in this post really gets at the preference for coffee. I completely understand!

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  6. I got a chuckle out of this. Especially after convincing myself I was going to exercise after school today, but when I got home close 6:00 I decide a slow walk around the block was better than weights. I should have picked up the dumbbells!

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  7. Oh my heavens, YES! The more difficult the task, the more energy and stronger mindset needed to perform that task. Ugh. I giggled at the jumping around of your thoughts, almost to honor your procrastination of exercising. Another blogger described this jumping around of thoughts as her own constellations. Thoughts dot her brain like stars dot the sky. Once we start connecting these thoughts, they form a pattern, or a constellation. Such an amusing post!

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